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arghhhhhhhhh...

OMG, Oh my gosh. 

It is super stresss to deal with all assignments !..

Keep telling myself breath in ~ breath out ~

keep calms and move out.

Hard way to go ~ long way to go ~

you should go without any doubt since you have make this decision. 

for sure, there is comfort zone in Malaysia , spoon feed by taylor's lecture, tips from lecture.

Seriously, I have no idea why I come United kingdom o further my study, This question popped out in sudden. I have forget what is the reason pushing me to come over here until my friend had remind me, "Think of why you planned to come over for your studies?" at that moment, I'm awake !

Yes, I came over here is because I want growth, I want to experience more, Explore more, although I am not smart enough, I am not clever enough. pass or second class should be not issue for me if I really put effort on it. Therefore, is it time change my behaviour: do not give up until the time has reach. Everything can be change after you have put your effort on.

What else? Read more, although I keep remind myself to read more, but I'm still fail to do so. In order to so, fast fast finish all drama.. Mauahahahaa.. (sound so ridicule ) 

of course not . just kidding.. really need to did a lot of reading. For myself, For my parents. 

TO Avoid make my parents feel down on me.. Of course. pass is the minimum line I can go on. I wish I could able go higher, higher and higher. Stress is the main component ! without you, there is nothing can push me, motivation is another component ! keep motivate myself to pushing up my grade and study.! 

Always remember on cost that parents spend on me, how much love they toward me, how much caring of them toward me. expectation of them, i could able to complete my degree. !

One last thing,,,,, Did ONE FOR YOURSELF, EMMA !!!!!

Grab your bright future for yourself.. No one is going to help you in forever time! 

They are just temporary helper, in long term, they will treat you as burden ..

You know, BURDEN !

Don't become burden of others !!!!!!

Promise to yourself ! okies?

Best,

Emma Yap 

念家

原来。。

来了第一个月，过了一个月，经历了一个月。
我终于承认我很想家。

我很想立刻飞会大马，我家。
这不件很羞耻的一件事，而是我很庆幸的知道我很想念我的家人。

一来住宿的问题.
二来天气的问题.
三来心情的问题.
四来读书的问题.

住宿, 虽然知道相处容易，相住难。
这一句完完全全体验到。
九个月的时间，说长不长，说短不短。
却还是一段时间.

凌晨才睡，晨早就醒。
思绪却飞回我家，万津。
我的家乡......睡也不想睡多。总觉的很浪费时间。
心思却飞回我家乡.


原来“怕想家” 的那一首歌。
我却害怕去听了。

天气,时而接受，时而受不了。
皮肤却因天气而受影响。

沉默

今天我看了一篇文章。。。

说实在的，我真的很认同。无论男或女都非常知道的这一点。

不要让你的男人或女人对你感到沉默。

可是说实在的我就感受到那种沉默感。

完完全全的感到沉默。

不知道也不想知道得去问去答。

“對愛你的女人，你可以讓她哭，讓她受委屈，但不要讓她沉默，因為無言是一種最深的傷痛，是一個女人最大的哭泣。你要知道，女人最愛傾訴，不管生活有多苦多難，無論她有沒有心事，她都想和你講述關於她的一切，這是她愛你的最好方式。如果有一天，她突然安靜了，你們的感情也到盡頭了“

而这一点完全的把我的感受给说了出来。因为安静，而让我受不了。我很想与你分享你的一切，而你让我感到你在敷衍我。是我的问题吗？还是。。。。 你让我哭了两次，而我选择吞下这苦瘤。当作是上天给的考验。而考验是让我更明白时间会证明一切。而我选择放手，让一切回归应当的位置，身份。

Exploration Of Life - Underwater

A new experience came as I decided to get new skill which is Diving !.
Open Water Course is for every beginner wish to get diving license. Therefore, My friend and I decided to take this and get a license, a lifetime license.
Okies. It's time to have small brief of the equipment bahx.

1. BCD
2. Weight
3. Mask
4. Wetsuit
5. Fins
6. Tank
7. Regulator
8. The most important is Youself !

Well, I thought it is very tough to set up those equipment at first sight. I am able to set up all equipment within 10 minutes after few times practice in the confine water. Learn how to breath ( Mouth breathing, Inhale and exhale).  Learn how to deflate and inflate your BCD ( so you are able ascend and descend). Put on weight ( help to descend). Mask up ( able to see underworld-new world; Fish, carol),Fins ( Dave your energy because able to move fast on one kick). Tank ( then you are able to breath in the underwater ya). Regulator ( Equipment to get oxygen). Youself ( Fully basic skill and enjoy with buddy).

Moreover, Pre-Dive Buddy check is most important step.. If do not wish there is another accident happen. Try to complete before starting to dive. This is because your buddy ensure your safety on which you might not noticed for example, check on deflate and inflate working, regulator working, tank is open, every equipment is well prepare and good condition. It makes you feel secure to dive after got this check.

 

Well Prepare and ready to wear ! Ready to WAR !

Briefing with all buddies is must. 

After briefing, we are ready to dive, become fish and ready to war! 

That's me ! ready to dive .. heheheh

When you stay in underwater. Everything annoying stuff gone.. What left? Calm, Peace and New world discover ! How amazing, awesome.  Gorgeous !

Let introduce my Dive Master !

Both are Malay but they are friendly especially the first Dive Master. He helps me carried my tank for twice. Really feel thankful to him and really awesome skill and hold my tank When we are in strong current. 

Thank You Sifu !!!

Let introduce my diver buddies. I can't remember some of their name.. But I'm able to remember their face ya.  

 Qifays

 Zainal 

Bryant

Diving is fun thing. We could able to make new friend, enjoy the new world and improve skill. There are so many benefits of diving. Why no you start joining today. It sound like Advertisement but it is really fun to join Dive club or Dive activities. It really fun, awesome ! I miss it after the first try. Trust me, you are not longer playing snorkeling only after you know how to dive !. You are only go dive when you visit any island !. 

Come on ! Join me !
 

Last one. ! Group Picture

 

Good Luck Dude and happy Diving !

Warm Regards, 

Emma Yap 

Worst Thing happened !

Within these few months, I faced alot of situations which I afraid the most !

First incident  - FAIL of subjects that I taken last semester. 

What subject was it? It is Money and Banking. 

Holy shit !  What the hell. I know Money and Banking would fail in my final in fact. Just I started feel worried I could not able to pass this subject since I have so much experience in HELP UNIVERSITY COLLEGE. 

The subject which is advanced English that I could not able to get a pass of trying three times and wasting around 9 months to give a tried on getting a pass. However, I got fail end up. 

What to do. Is the time to let me change College since I can't finish my foundation in HELP.

The Next University that I was Studied which is INTI INTERNATIONAL UNIVERSITY COLLEGE. 

Very lucky, I got all pass An few A from there and Complete my foundation over there. 

Of course, My friend kept asking me that what subject that I am taking right now. I forced to tell lie which was I took degree in INTI but in actual I was taking Foundation and complete over there. 

And again, I found it there is too bored to stay cause most of friends will back to their room and took a rest after having two hours and continues to back to classroom after two hours. For me, I really need to find a place to spend my two hours there because I had no room to rest. Therefore, I need to followed my friend back to their room and take a rest over their place and some of times I was staying in library to spend those two hours and waiting for the next class. Well, this was not a good experience; however, I feel that this is part that I need to stand for. What's next? Taylor's lakeside University, hhahahaha

AS USUAL, My gang asked me why keep changing University. What to say? of course I'll said that because the course over there is better and is the one I want to take it..hehehe

tell lie again.. Seriously, I need to cover one lie to telling more lies !. That's true. Of course, there is a gang which I not need to tell lie..heheh because we are BIG FOUR ! hehehe

New environment, new situation, new friends. All about new !

I believe I got a new chapter of my life. There is always big threat for me which is result !

for the first semester, I was worried my English for business purpose. What to do. 

My English is poor. This is a fact. I know that I always know that. I need to keep improve, improve and improve. I got pass in first semester. WELL DONE ! Second semester? MLS and  BC.. Oh My god, I really worried so much ! Again , EXCELLENT ! Third semester? I got 21 marks out of 50 marks in my Money and banking ..  holy shit !.. It is a biggest threat at that moment. After the final, i knew that i surely fail that paper.. It really did as I was expected. FAIL ! O G MY GOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Therefore, I started to revision before result had released. Also, there was one thing that I never expected was there was 13 people got fail in MB ?? Are you Kidding  me, MR LIM ?? 

Yes, he did not.  emmmmmm, While it came to us, Mr Lim started share his points which were coming out in the resit paper. It was really awesome !..... because it really helps us to get pass in the module ~~ it is really good after see the resit result because I got pass.. FINALLY, I can go further and keep going forward. UK , 

WAIT ME !! UNITED KINGDOM !!! 

S.H

S.H .. Woah !! Oh my god !! I am attracted by him  so much so much !!!

He is so handsome !!!! oh my god !
I do not want to do so but I just can't control my finger.
It automatically type on Sxxx H..
And him appear in front of me. !
I just can't stop on looking his picture everyday.
I did swear, I never did that before.
HOW HORRIBLE I AM !!!

Sorry for being crazy.
Just I never thought of I attracted by him so much?
After a couple years, I thought I never meet a guy like him although he is not around in Malaysia.
Currently, he staying Australia because of study.

This all happen due to a small incident.
One day, Myfriend posted one picture and with description " Coffee Tea time with S... H.."
Of course his smile make me feel warm.
Click on his name automatically, and check for his profile picture..
Okies, This situation would not happen if i did not on it.
But it happen because I check for his profile picture and make me feel "Woah"
I love it !!..
What's next?? just guess it ! muahahahXD..
Sound crazy ! Because of him, I really be crazy people.
Check on his Facebook everyday. Look on his previous picture as well.

hahahaa.. after few dramatic incident in past, I thought i will no get into in so crazy !
After i saw his picture, especially his smile, it make me become 花痴!!

Guess what? I am still check on his mother websites which contains alot picture about him as well..
All the way, looking on his picture and figure out, who is my rival ?

by checking his posted, I saw one post which is stated there " I saw a girl and I in <3 p="">OMG !!!! that time i am quite sad but there is something made me feel curious " I get fraped"
I was keeping figure it out what does it mean  by " FRAPED"
By dictionary, By asking friend, still can't get the answer. I was feel exhausted. Until there is one day, I check it by google, It states, Is the form of facebook words and it mean that the account is being hack or misuse.
okies, there all for me !. I feel I am feel happy again !..haha
Seem like i m going to write all the way long about him !!! hahahaaha..

I m so sorry about that. But I just can't any way to express my feeling..

I am Interested on him !! I want to know about him more and know him.
The most important is want to make friend with him !.
To check whether i am in the right feeling or not!

I feel shy to ask my friend to introduce to me but there is only one for me to get know about him more and able to make friend with him !
but i still feel shy to do so and my finally is coming !. So I am going to wait after the final exam and to check whether the feeling can stay for long or not.
I do not want take action fast without accurate feeling.
I am afraid maybe he is not that one I want !.
I just have to be train.
If after exam, I am still looking for his picture everyday !?
I will go for him..hahaaheheheh..

shhh ~~~ you really handsome, no matter people or my sister comment on " Still okies"
you are still handsome for me !!

Expressing ....... :(

Harlo , it's time for me update here ...
It's around half year I didn't update my blog here. Well , I don't know how am I going to express my feeling here .
Feel that I'm so useless after dad have told his story to me . I didnot what it brings to others . I just know this is the reason why my dad is success and have that ability feed my family .
Seriously, I really feel hopeless for my elder brother . How can he continue live without doing any job. Sister in law is feeding him ! What a useless person I never meet before . Does he feels shame ? I don't know . All I know is be really good in counting ..

I know this story is a long story ! Each of them has their story and their own life ! However, in their life , there are many people involve . Don't they prove it to us they are able to feed themself ! At least get a job and to gain your own

Change !
Is another story . Change your discipline . Change your time management ! Change your mind set . Ensure your mind is open enough to absorb anything which is unexpected ! If you can't change people's mind , you may change your mind , your belief , your behavior . Yet, it is hard work ! I know . Everyone is still learning through their pAthway, including me ! You have to try !

For myself !
What else to comment myself ! Come on, be brave ! Don't be shy ! If you are going to be a success business lady, the first thing that I have to learn is to be brave ! Second, be brave ! Third, don afraid people is laughing ! Just be brave .. Don't be coward !
Can you do it ?
Promise me , at least be brave and ask ask ask ask ask .../