放个手

手放手....
听听李圣杰的手放开
" 给你最后的疼爱是手放开, 不要一张双人床中间隔着一片海
感情的污点就留给时间漂白，把爱收进左边口袋
最后的疼爱是手放开，不想用语言拉扯所以选择不责怪
感情就像侯车月台有人走有人来，我的心是一个站牌    写着等待"

压力来了，我选择逃避......
问题来了，我选择不知道....
慢慢的，我变得软弱了

为什么？？？？？？
我不想变软弱.....
累积起来的一些不信任，压力，等等
都爆发了。。。。

终于今天我想通了
放开......就是放开............
我要回到我的人生里
不再为你或其他人....
只为自己......

李圣杰的手放开很有意思......
但是最后一句不是我的心写着等待
而是不再为你等待，忍受....
那站牌不时给你。
给我自己......

如果你知道我是写给你的....
那你应该明白我的感受....
朋友，不是我不信任你们...
而是，我不敢再相信任何人了

你们不明白我....
当我决定完完全全相信你们
我的举动你们还是不能接受
所以选择不完全的去信任...

那就足够了

谢谢你们......

Training Hours

Yea.. I got a job..
But because of this job.. I was waste my time, money and my patient..

At first, Pennan who is  superviser and are in charge on me...
Told me that, I need to go Damansara 2 there to have a training class..
Yes, i deal with it..

I could not make on time because need to sent my friends back to HELP.
Okay, there was not a problem.
but.. I was the first time went Damansara 2.
I was blur and confused which block I need to in.
Lastly, I simply drove into a car park..
After that.. I was try to find the parking slot..
But ALL SLOT ARE RESERVE!!!!!!

Chill with it...I called Pennan..
What should i do and where should i go.??
He told me I need to park into B3 o B4, which are for visitor..
Okay... Get it... Jom !!!
After I parked it.. I went to up stairs...
I called Pennan again and ask him to pick me up...
because i really not idea where should i go..although he gave me the company address.
I told him some restaurant name which was near by me...
The answer he gave me was " where is it?? are u get into wrong building"
i was stuck..okay.. asked security guard.....
The security guard told me.. i was in wrong building.. that building are opposite side..
Stuck again...ok.. back to car, started engine, paid the parking fees RM 5, and made a big u turn. !

Finally, used around 20 minutes. I got the right place and i was late for the training classs.....
yea.... when i got in the class.. What i felt that was pressure.. i felt wan quit it..
Not fun at all... but i force myself to stay on it..
Because I was the one who made this decision...Force to...

Until now.. i still felt wan quit it?? Can I hold this job till the end??
Because i m going to be alone at tropicana .... Maybe... There are still not confirm..
WTH...Can I quit it???
The feeling really suck. !!!..!!! i prefer stay at home.. just starring at television.... or computer...

Alone

The feeling was different. I never try to be alone for so long..
From this morning, I went to class alone ( although it is replace), and many of them are looking at me.. I think they felt so weird when I in the class.
After I finished my class at 11 am something...
I had message all my friends are possible to accompany me for my break time which is 3 hours more.
The result they gave me..1st one, "i will be help around 2 something, okay lar.. It's for sleep.."
okay.... i m speechless. seriously...
2nd, i message michelle asked her to come early.. she did not reply as well..

So, I planned to watch movie after that.
I ate alone and checked the Gsc for the movie time after class...
Yea... there is .... "The Sorcerer's Appre" 12.00pm or 12.45pm
I was thinking.. which one better? At first, i choose 12.00 because of the next class on 3.30pm..
I was scare i could not back to help on time..

But finished my lunch, there already 11.45 am.
I was rush by it....When I get into car..ohya.. already 12.00..
okay.. never mind...Still have 12.45pm..

When I reached tropicana...
Plan A
I walked around carrefour for looking my shampoo.....
But Dont have.. okay.. fine..
Plan B
looking for CD shop... because i wanna to buy JJ different album....
But there dont have any CD shop..
Plan C
Buy Ticket....
okay...

Finally !!!! success....!!!!

Serious... the feeling was feeling.. when I in the threate....There is noone there..
JUST ME !!!!!
Waooo... the situation was.... I M BOOKING THREATE FOR MYSELF !..
It was cool...

Lastly, michelle replied me.. she was sick and not going to class...
So, i went for class alone.. and present it..
Also, JUST ONE PEOPLE TO PRESENT FOR TODAY..
THAT WAS ME AGAIN !
Yea.. a Brand new day yea.hahahaha.......
Surprise.... and new feeling !!!!!!!!!...........

I love it so much !..
not need to care about friend's time or what??
just make decision by own...
Just care byself.. not need to care about what...
Just to be myself !!!..

I love today so much !!!!!..
Appreciate it....God !
Thank you ~~

选择

终于做出了选择

选择与你分开一段时间
选择自己一个人舔伤口
选择自己一个人痛苦
选择静静一个人慢慢度过
选择慢慢的放开

让自己好过一些些
让自己不再去回想
让自己对自己好
让自己对自己自私

可能这段日子会难过一些
但我相信我能渡过这难关的
当过了这段时期 , 我希望我不再是我自己
希望会有全新的我
不同想法, 不同做法, 不同的人生
也不再轻易的掉泪

给你的话

我已经不清楚到底是如何的
我也不清楚你在做些什么
感觉上有你跟没有你有什么差别?
也不清楚你心里有没有我
我做不出天天缠着你，天天信息你。
我累了。我好想对你说“我们分吧”

无言

终于忍不住了......(((((((((　大喊   ))))))))))

不知道着了什么迷......
最近这几天　常常去看看朋友的部落格
看看了　心...

再动摇着.....

开／不开....开／不开.....开／不开....开／不开
好烦...好想对自己巴几巴掌
好让自己清醒一些些...
明明下了承偌，为什么我就是办不到????

对自己的话不再有任何信任
因为我再也控制不了自己
我失去了理智.....只剩下那一点点的理智还能支撑到几久呢??

我的生活好乱...
乱到好想回到从前...有你的生活...应该会好一些吧??
好想对你说声抱歉...

对不起，感觉到我还没能把你放下，错！是还没能把你给忘记！

有点想放弃所有的事
但我知道这是不可能
你认为我是
我也不清楚我到底是不是
我曾经是，但是我不想再做多一次
我很想不去介意....可是就是介意

事事嘛，都是难料的
口嘛也是心非着
不知道为什么心情就是很复杂

很想开回旧的部落格
可是就是没勇气去开回
不想让人再去探索
不想让人再去知道
不想让自己去回想

就让一切都在那儿停留。
会更好　！