我很不开心

Seriously, I have no idea what should I really go for. Should I just stick with my plan or should I just randomly pick one of the job and get a basic salary first?

I'm blank now. Something I do not really expect that is my working condition. Staying in the office should be fine for the marketing executive as there is admin work that need some one to done for it. However, after three days working as marketing executive I do realise that the pay that I should get it equal to zero. There is for sure I did learn important skill in the real world. That's absolutely true ! Pay is the basic value we get from the work, it's maintain living, but how about it does not able to cover your living. What is all for ? It does not mean that I love money, but I do need money ! That is NEED, not WANT ! Please do clarified on that ! I NEED MONEY TO MAINTAIN MY LIVING.  Petrol Fuel, Toll, Car parking, and Rental, who is going to pay for me? you ? you ? him or her?

I am really face difficulties to work as marketing executive. 100 ringgit malaysia is there enough to cover those things? It is able to cover some of toll price, but there is not able to cover my petrol fuel. I am exhausted ! I wanna give up. Please do tell me What should I do now !?!? AM I PICKY ENOUGH ??????????

她是坏人

She is a good, kind, person.????


WHAT?

I do believe someone has made the wrong statement?
Based on the truth, she is the main issue !..

Well, I am not going to ask you to agree my point !
No matter how hard is my words, How much hard feeling i bring to her, I never feel sorry to her.
This is deserve for herself. !

Truly, she really made four of us, quarrel for her ! WHAT's FOR !!!!!!!

HEY dude,  PLEASE CLEAR ON YOUR MIND !
Who is your family member ?  No matter what conflict you guys having previously, it is all pass ! why do you guy quarrel because of her? A true information I can see now is she really make our quarrel !....
Perhaps, I'm  looking someone to agree my point, But I do know that no one has the same mindset with me now.. that's why I m here to express my mood, feeling, my thought !

They did have conflict on past, but now the main issue is because of her !
Why do her told her that and misunderstand others? alright, Perhaps you are still young, SO, what's the point ? Point is I really dislike her !


You are just separating us ! you are such evil !
you are just bitch ! back to your place !

Yes, they do, The relationship between them is so weak, always.
therefore, anything happen could make it broken, therefore, I always do take care of their relationship. This is a thing I do not wish to see it again but it happen again. Do break again.



There is not thank for you ! There is blaming to youuuu.. I really dislike you.

There is not next time for you staying here again. I swear !

BLUE

The Winter had passed
And the spring has come
We have withered
And our hearts are bruised from longing

Used to the blue tears, Blue sorrow
The love that I have sent away with the floating clouds,

Under the same sky, at different places
Because you and I are dangerous
I am leaving you
One letter difference from "him"
It's cowardly but i'mm hiding because I'm not good enough
Cruel breakup is like the end of the road of love
No words can comfort me
Perhaps my lifetime;s last melodrama
now its final curtain is coming down

I was born and I met you
And i have loved you to death
My cold heart that has been dyed blue
Even with my eyes closed, I can't feel you

I feel like my heart has stopped beating
You and I, frozen there, after a war
Trauma, that has been carved in my head
Once these tears dry up, I will moistly remember my love
I'm neither painful nor lonely
Happiness is all self-talk
I can't stand something more complicated
It's no big deal, I don't care
Inevitable wandering, people come and go

And tonight, underneath that blue moonlight
I will probably fall asleep alone
Even in my dreams, I look for you
And wander around while singing this song

Blue ...

承诺

在这儿， 我想对叶厤迎说...

是时候了，该对 ta 是时候说再见。。。。

也是给你一个句点。

而在这儿对你做出承诺。是时候要要断了。。

无主题

在这之前， 我有好多好多话想分享。。。

可当我开了这网站，我却词穷了。

不知道要分享什么，到了这里才知道那只是小事，
何必看得那么重。只是我人生中的一小部分。

我不清楚是否会不会影响。。。
却不想去让自己那么难受。
突然想到一句话
“认真便输”

只是那么一夜，我的心就便牵着走。

说明还是嫩的很 ！（嘲笑）

叶小姐啊，叶小姐。。。。
醒一醒。。虽然很开心却很失望。

这就是现实。醒一醒。。。。

Solitude

"Solitude, the kind of elect ourselves, is met with judgement and enslaved by stigma. It is capacity absolutely essential for a full life."

                                                   By : Popova

Based on the statement above, I understand be alone is refer on decision-making by ourselves.

I choose to be alone, stay alone in library.
I choose to be alone, stay alone in Mcd.
I choose to be alone, stay alone in Gym.
I choose to be alone, eat alone in my place.
I choose to be alone, sleep alone with my pillows.
I choose to be alone, study alone in the class.
I choose to be alone, going class alone.

Choosing to be alone is not frighten matters. All are based on how to preferring to.
Some preferring accompaniments, some preferring alone.
What's wrong with that? Any issues on that?
Is it staying alone is harmful choices?

What do I believe in. Staying alone will bring stronger mindset to myself.
What do I believe in. Staying alone will bring confidence to myself.
What do I believe in. Staying alone will bring comfort to myself.

But what do people think of. When you being alone, they feel pity on you.
They feel there is not right to be alone.
Asian, is there any wrong to staying alone?
Please do change your mind. okies?

Staying alone doesn't mean you are loneliness .
Staying alone doesn't mean you are not social able.
Staying alone doesn't mean you are not friendly enough.
Staying alone doesn't mean you are issues.

Everyone has the right to be what they want to be.
You can care about but not too over.
You cannot force someone to join into the group.
I prefer to stay alone.
One day, two days, or more. SO??? any issues.

Staying alone from someone does it mean you have any conflict with someone.???

Please do not think on it?

FwB

FwB stand for Friends with Benefits.

That's right. 

Today topic is friends with benefits. I believe that there is always exist especially at here, United Kingdom. In this new semester, I truly believe it is exist and it happened on me !

I been kick out from my housemates, K,H,O, & S..  I felt hurt, I felt sad, I felt I'm being left out. 

This is truly hurting me so badly. Another incident is about I am separating food stuff with them because I planning to get my body back and stop gaining weight ! Again, felt being left out again on the first day.

Therefore, I was trying to adjust my mood and perspective. I was keep reminding myself, not to care too much, not to care too much. In sudden, I felt I'm being left out and so lonely. I got nothing to say, got no one to say. I messaged all of besties, trying to ask for accompaniment to chase out the loneliness. However, there were one or two replied me and stop without telling. 

BUT there is one of Friend, one of my besties replied me and trying to comfort me another way. I really love this of feeling. She always point out some points which are really useful and mood turn good in few chats. How could I live without her! She always here for me, although not 100% free when I need a chat, but she is still willing to stay aside me and giving me some strength ideas. Therefore, FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS is not exist between her and I. I'm appreciate. I really do.

However, those with friends with benefits are really good. They are just friend, Friendship arise only in 20 Holmdale Road, Filton, BS34 7HT, Untied Kingdom. That's great, they are good enough, but they will not turn to be my best friend anyway. They are just part of my life, important guests in my life, but they never be VIP in my life. Same thing, I think they are having same idea with me. After we graduate from UWE. We are going to spilt out!. You know why? First, In Uk, they are just close while they are in UK, Not in Malaysia, because, there are much more important persons are waiting for them. Second, each of them is going to back to their home place. Third, there is nothing extra to play in United Kingdom, except in Home, ( to avoid spending and to studying).

How? Anything come into your head now after reading my Post. Will you agree or disagree with my point.

It's sad, but there is fact, a truth. We can't avoid this especially we are staying abroad. Things never happen in Malaysia because we just meet during class and few meals only. We still spending our time on important persons or family because all of our families are at Malaysia, not United Kingdom. 

It's good to stay with u guys. I learn a lot, maybe there are much more to learn in the future five or six months time. No matter in a good way or in a bad way. You guys still part of my life. Surely, I will not forget my bestie, Kuei Rou. She is good girl ! 

Thanks 

Emma